A Trap Has a Mind of Its Own, Theatre o’ th’ Absurd, at the Clarendon Park field house.

To the tune of “Greensleeves”:

Alas this show has done me wrong

to waste my time so prodigiously,

for it is very, very long

and each minute bored me hideously.

This show attempts to be

an absurdist romp and a comedy.

This show offers parodies

of Christmas songs that aren’t funny.

Jack the Ripper and Sherlock Holmes,

Watson and Moriarty.

There’s a premise here but the story roams,

and coherence is not a priority.

This show is a travesty

of Victorian iconography.

Shoots for eccentricity

when the truth is it’s merely unfunny.

what a waste of this cast of nine,

a few of whom may be competent.

The script is totally asinine,

overwritten, and wildly indulgent.

This show dearly wants to be

an absurdist romp and a comedy.

Wants to be madcap and erudite

when the truth is it’s long and unfunny.