Q: I’m a queer girl living with a male partner. This weekend, we found ourselves in an after-hours club, made some new friends, and ended up at a house with two other guys and a girl. Things were pretty playful with everyone except for one of the guys. We all wanted him gone, but he wouldn’t take the hint. He bought the booze for the afterparty, so we were a little unsure of the etiquette of asking him to leave. Neither I nor the other girl was interested. I made it clear that penetration was off the menu for me, and everyone respected this—except the one guy. He asked if I would do anal, and I refused. He shoved his fingers in my ass, and I stopped him. I positioned myself away from him, but he somehow got behind me again and put his bare dick in my ass—though barely. The host pulled him off me. We were admittedly all a bit fucked-up from partying. I had a stern talk with him about respecting consent—but when I felt his dick enter me from behind a second time, I got upset. My boyfriend threatened him, and the guy punched my boyfriend and broke his nose. The host threw the guy out with no pants, so he had a well-deserved walk of shame. We don’t know the guy’s last name, so we can’t charge him. My question is this: As a couple, we enjoy threesomes/moresomes/swingers clubs, etc, and this wasn’t the first time a fun night was ruined by a persistent dick monster. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with pricks like these? Sober and not horny me has all the answers, but when I’m feeling violated and vulnerable, and distracted by whatever dick/pussy is in my face, I’m not the loudmouthed feminist bitch I usually am. We all agree he should have been kicked out before the offenses added up. Maybe he should have been kicked out when we all agreed we weren’t comfortable with him playing with us. What’s the etiquette of telling someone they can’t join in? I’m done dancing around assholes’ feelings. —Queer Unicorn Exhausted Entertaining Numbskulls