Plaid shirt by J. Crew Credit: Photo by Colleen Durkin; Styling by Agga B. Raya; Props and set by Doug Johnston and Colleen Durkin

Tony Pacenta
35, Logan Square

Seeking: A good-hearted woman

Occupation: Teamster

His friend says: “He will help anyone out in a jam. He’s half tough guy half really goofy dude.”

What do you do when you’re not working?

Spend time with friends, read nonfiction books and novels, and see live music.




No, but I’m an animal lover.

Dietary restrictions?





Not religious.

What’s your idea of the perfect Chicago date?

Trying a new restaurant.

What’s your preferred method for surviving a Chicago winter?

Suck it up and deal with it.

If HBO made a miniseries about your life, who would you cast for the lead role?

Either Dave Chappelle or Steve Buscemi.

What television family does yours most parallel?

Maybe The Simpsons.

Go-to karaoke song?

“You Never Even Called Me by My Name” by David Allen Coe.

What do you find boring?

Sitting in traffic.

Who would you kill if you could be guaranteed you’d never be caught?

I would never!

What was your first e-mail address/AIM name?

Please describe your understanding of cell-phone etiquette.

Try to be respectful of people around you.

What’s your zombie apocalypse contingency plan?

That’s classified.

What contemporary trend or habit do you detest?

Ironic facial hair.

Credit: Photo by Colleen Durkin; Styling by Agga B. Raya; Props and set by Doug Johnston and Colleen Durkin

Say you’re going to be interred like an Egyptian pharaoh. Who or what is in your burial chamber with you?

Chocolate chip cookies and other delicious treats.

It’s time to decide who gets to board the generation ship that’s evacuating earth for a planet we haven’t yet fucked up beyond repair. Who goes and who stays?

This is above my pay grade.

If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life what would you pick?

Ricobene’s breaded steak sandwich.

What is your favorite curse word?

Don’t really have one.

Where were you this past Fourth of July at 7:18 PM?

At a friend’s BBQ.

How long do you stay angry, and do you get loud or quiet?

I usually just talk things out.

Do you like to talk about a movie right after you’ve seen it?

Yes—or during it.

What’s the biggest sacrifice you ever made for someone you care about?

I have given the shirt off my back, for real.

If you didn’t have to be yourself, who would you be?

I’m cool with who I am.

At what stage in your life were you the best (or worst) version of yourself?

I’m currently the best version of myself, but my mid-20s were a little weird.

Are you afraid of or excited to face the unknown?

What I don’t know leaves me scared and winded.

Who is your intellectual idol?

Nikola Tesla.

What’s your CTA pet peeve?

Bus drivers not using turn signals.

What’s your favorite cultural depiction of Chicago?

The Blues Brothers—it doesn’t get much better than that.

Do you have any hidden skills and/or talents?

I’m really good at showing up on time.

So, really, why are you single?

I haven’t met the right lady.