Best Place to Sit at the Empty Bottle if You've Spent More Than Ten Years Hanging Out at the Empty Bottle

Back corner by the piano

Buddy, if you’re someone who has spent more than ten years hanging out at the Empty Bottle, the best place for you to sit is in the northwest corner of the bar, by the piano—you know, the out-of-tune upright the Flaming Lips used when they played the Bottle back in ’94—with the other lifers. You can still hear the bands, you can rest your weary rock ’n’ roll back, and you can use what’s left of your hearing to listen to the tales of fellow grizzled veterans of underground music. And, if you’re really lucky, you might get to sit next to an elderly Polish gentleman asking in broken English why there is no “dancing” as promised on the awning.