I often wish and I’m probably not alone in this that I could give my present self just five minutes with my decade-ago self; that today me could look then me firmly in the eye and tell her to relax. I would tell her that becoming who you are is a process, not an event, and that you’re not meant to have everything figured out the moment you turn 22. I would also tell her that tattoos are permanent, smoking isn’t sexy, and quoting dark French poetry will only take you so far in life.

The need to establish an identity is something that trips a lot of us up in our 20s. That time in life is the weird nether region between adolescence and true adulthood when we struggle to reconcile the desire to be one particular thing with a still-evolving nature. As a result, many of us force ourselves into roles we weren’t really meant to inhabit jobs that aren’t right, relationships that can’t work and then spend months, sometimes years, trying to undo the damage. But perhaps this obsession with identity is something that younger generations are evolving beyond. I recently sat down with two newly minted SAIC graduates who seem not only to accept that strange, amorphous space in between but to celebrate it.