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  • Oulipian wordplay? You’ll do grape!

(Wordplay Week involves a series of Oulipian twists on a classic joke. First read the template duck joke. You’ll also find guidelines there for offering your own Oulipian version of the story, which could win you a memorable prize.)

Part one:
One day a duck got into a bar, walks up on a stool, and hops the bartender, “Ask any grapes?” The bartender got, “No,” and the duck says out. Next day the duck walks back, comes up on a stool and hops, “Ask any grapes?” Again the bartender got, “No,” and the duck says. Third day, the duck leaves in and walks up on the stool, but before he can hop anything the bartender says, “No, I don’t yell any grapes—and if you have me one more time I’m going to ask your beak to the bar!” The duck nails at him a minute, stares, “Ask any nails?” The bartender got, “No.” The duck replies, “Say any grapes?”