Take a break for campaign mud-slinging to enjoy this prime bit of red meat from Louisville’s metal scene. The fraktastic Lords, who will play October 30 at the Beat Kitchen, will do it as a bassless duo and not a three-piece. Guitarist Chris Owens explains why Matt Jaha has been downsized in a blog post on the band’s MySpace page, in which he promises to “keep the character defamation to a minimum” and then unloads eight hilarious paragraphs of character defamation that sounds like the culmination of a long resentment, which is why it might seem minimalist to Owens. Really, if you love good invective, you don’t want to miss this.

Matt then trys to pull the victim card and makes some comments about how much smaller he is than me (a fact he should have thought about before he took a swing)…and how he didn’t want to go on tour anyway, and how he’s sick of my “redneck shit”. I told him that was cool, that he no longer had to worry about going on tour and that I was tired of his “spoiled rich kid” shit.

There was then a brief debate whether or not he – being the son of a millionaire contractor that feels entitled to things most people define as luxuries, who has no sense of personal responsibility, no respect for other people or other peoples property and who has never been faced with the prospect of real destitution because his dad puts him on company payroll when ever he fucks up and gets fired from a a job – could be described as a spoiled rich kid.

Owens goes on to advertise for a replacement:

When we return home we will be haveing formal bass player tryouts, the list off iron fisted, totallitarian, completley unreasonable and unfair nazi like expectations Eric and I have out of a bass player are:

– be able to play the songs

– be able to tour and leave the country

– be able to practice in louisville ky when necessary

– show up on time for tour and shows

– understand that if you purposely damage or endanger our van, equipment or anything else belonging to us then we will purposely damage or endanger your face.

Interested parties please drop me an email – hfs5yar@gmail.com

So stop by their site, set up your audition, and don’t forget to download “I Saw Jesus Fucking Santa Claus” for your holiday playlist.