You want to play the dozens? Huh? Here we go. There was an error at the hospital, you died at birth, your turn. –David Mamet, Heist

The Reader will be participating in a “put down insult tournament” hosted by Schadenfreude against representatives of Gapers Block, Time Out Chicago, and Chicagoist, tonight at 8:30 at the Gallery Cabaret in Bucktown. Support your favorite independent media outlet or branch of the Time Out empire by shouting “OHHHH” a lot. It’ll be kind of like this, but without beats.