Those of you who like to enjoy your sunburn grooves in luxury will be happy to know that the decadent entity known as Jam Cruise has announced the lineup for its sixth voyage, departing in January from Ft. Lauderdale with ports of call in Honduras and Mexico. It’s not a bad bill: Michael Franti & Spearhead, the Funky Meters, Yonder Mountain String Band, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, Toots & the Maytals, Soulive, and more. You’ll be able to feel Ken Kesey vibrating in his grave, even on the water. Registration opens in early June.

No doubt this is lots of people’s idea of a good time. Not me. Any fellow folks out there of a more, er, aggro bent—punks, metalheads, noise junkies, heavy-psych freaks—interested in puttin’ together a pirate crew to challenge and pillage this fat-ass target? Should we meet ’em under the black flag and buckle their noodly swashes good, or wait till they’re laid low by the chronic cruise-ship craps?