The news cycle has been churning out so many reasons to be depressed lately, and I don’t feel like shouldering all the sadness myself—so here, let’s all be sad together. First, you go ahead and cry about Walmart v. Dukes. Then I’ll cry about James Varone the $1 robbery-for-jail-health-care guy. Then you cry about income disparity and even more economic collapse. Then I’ll cry about the growing Blackberry Neck epidemic and George Clooney’s debilitating marriage allergy. Then you cry about how all of America’s greatest restaurants are depriving us of calories and toys. Then I’ll cry about Sarah Palin either stopping her bus tour or not stopping her bus tour, but fighting with Fox News either way, as if the world needed any more heartbreaking wars.
When we’re finished crying about all these things, we can celebrate the single piece of uplifting news to come out this week, so far. It’s about our barcodes. They’re getting really good: