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  • ​ Jessica Koscielniak/Chicago Sun-Times
  • On Republican Day last week at the Illinois State Fair in Springfield, Bruce Rauner arrived on his Harley.

Hi folks​, great to see ya, and thanks for comin’ out. As you know, I wanna be your governor so we can shake up Springfield and bring back Illinois. I’m gonna take on the special interests, and drive those career politicians nuts.

I’ve been crisscrossin’ this great state to bring my message directly to the voters in case they somehow miss my commercials. But I’m steppin’ off the campaign trail for a minute to respond to summa the baloney about my taxes.

Now, you may have heard that Rahm Emanuel says I should release my full tax returns, like he ​has when he’s run for office. I used to consider Rahm a friend, but now I see he’s just a career politician like the rest of ’em. ​I think he should get his own tax-s​helt​er ideas insteada tryin’ to lift ’em ​​from me​.

We’ve already released​ plenty of information on our taxes—a coupla pages for 2010, 2011, and 2012.​ We’re gonna release 2013 in October, ’cause we got an extension. ​I’m a very successful guy and I’m prouda my success, but it makes figgerin’ out the taxes complicated. I got some folks workin’ on those two pages, though.

​Now, it’s true that when Mitt Romney ran for president, he released all his schedules as well as his returns—somethin’ like ​700 ​​pages. But, folks, we know what happened to him.

​We’d release the full schedules, but they’re so complicated we think folks would misunderstand ’em. We already got some career journalists complainin’ because we only paid 19 percent even though our $108 million those three years may have put us in the 35 percent bracket. We took advantage of some things, but it was all perfectly legal. There’s carried interest, for instance, which ​allows private equity partners like me to count compensation income as capital gains. Some of those career economists call that a loophole, but it’s for everyone—any private equity partner can use it. You might say I have a special interest in carried interest, but t​hat​’s not the kinda special interest I’m against​.

As it says right on our website, we’d like to see the tax code overhauled so it’s fair to all taxpayers. But until that happens, well, I’m for lowerin’ taxes, and so I’m leadin’ by example.

And whatever I’ve saved in taxes, I’ve pumped right back into this state. We’re spendin’ those millions on campaign commercials so we can shake up Springfield and bring back Illinois.

Because we love this state, our firm set up some accounts in the strugglin’ Illinois town of Cayman Islands. It’s near Kankakee, if I’m not mistaken. The tax rate in the Caymans is somewhere around zero, but this didn’t reduce my taxes one penny, as is clear from the schedules I won’t release. Settin’ up accounts in the Caymans may have helped us earn more in management fees, sure, but we’re talkin’ only pocket change.

  • ​SHNS photo courtesy Cayman Island Department of Tourism
  • The climate in the Cayman Islands is pleasant, especially for business.

My opponents are tryin’ to do class warfare, sayin’ I’m some outta-touch rich guy, but you know better than that.

I hope you’ll keep followin’ our campaign on our website. And if you’re lookin’ for a gift for that special friend, just click on “shop” to select from a variety of our affordably priced products. The BRUCE RAUNER SHAKE UP SPRINGFIELD fleece vest is only $40. Because we need the women’s vote, we’ve got a WOMEN FOR RAUNER T-shirt for $25. We need the Hispanic vote too, so there’s an AMIGOS DE RAUNER cap for just $20. We’ll be happy to offer an AFRICAN-AMERICANS FOR RAUNER T-shirt soon’s we get some demand. ​

I gotta get back out there on the campaign trail now, but we’ll be updatin’ you in person like this from time to time. With your continued support, we’re gonna take on the special interests, shake up Springfield, and bring back Illinois.