Things I totally didn’t know were in the works: Cook County Magazine, Todd Stroger’s latest self-defeating attempt to burnish his PR. From the cover it looks like O, The Oprah Magazine only with Todd Stroger instead of Oprah. Clearly I would pay any amount to subscribe to this, but it looks like I’ll never get the chance: all 5,000 copies are in spokesman Eugene Mullins’s office and it looks like they’ll go the way of the E.T. Atari game, because it sucks too much to show anyone:

The cover story is an interview with Stroger that starts by asking him, “How are you feeling these days?” There’s also a short obituary for Stroger’s late father and predecessor as county board president, John H. Stroger Jr., who died in January. It misspells his name.

Total cost of $24,999 with only three ads. The reason why it’s a dollar less than $25K is so awesome, and by awesome I mean crushingly depressing, that I don’t want to ruin the joke by explaining it, so click through (via Chicagoist).