With our baseball teams racing each other into the abyss heading toward next weekend’s interleague city series rematch, the managers are doing their best to keep the media and the fans entertained — with their quotes off the field. My favorite of the season so far has come from the Cubs’ Lou Piniella, who when asked about the club’s offensive woes said, “Let’s talk about some bikinis on the beach or surfers on La Jolla.” The White Sox’ Ozzie Guillen is no piker in that regard, and offered this after the Sox’ loss Monday night: “It’s the same game over and over. It’s like watching ESPN News after 11 o’clock at night, the same thing over and over for 24 hours.” The Cubs may have won two in a row against the suprising Mariners, but both teams are still sitting well under .500, and after getting swept by Phillies, the Sox have lost an abysmal 15 of their last 18 games. The managers aren’t managing so much as providing comic relief.

But you know what? Even when it comes to providing great quotes they’re getting beat. My favorite sports line of the year so far came from none other than tennis’s Maria Sharapova at the French Open. When fans booed her after she went ahead and served an ace when an early-round opponent tried to signal for a timeout, Sharapova ignored them and went on to win, saying afterward, “It’s tough playing tennis and being Mother Teresa at the same time.” Roll over, Leo Durocher, and tell Ozzie and Sweet Lou the news.