Aberdeen Daily News, July 17, 1881. It was recently discovered that members of the Donner Party carried with them on the journey documents signed by Abraham Lincoln. This is significant for a couple of reasons: First, Lincoln was just 23 when he signed the document, so it’s a very rare and valuable autograph, from a time before Lincoln was Lincoln, so to speak. Second, the people carrying them didn’t have the decency and sense to turn it into a peat-moss roll up and eat it before tucking into the nearest frozen blacksmith. That’s like, your plane goes down in the Andes and you’re all “Hey, pass me some of that freeze-dried soccer player!” before the roasted peanuts supply has even been exhausted.