Give the Bottle its painting back! Credit: AP PHOTO/LINDSEY TANNER

Reader staffers share stories that fascinate, alarm, amuse, or inspire us.

Hey, did you read:

• That Cook County state’s attorney Anita Alvarez declined to prosecute a Chicago police officer for perjury in part because “it is extremely difficult to convince judges or juries to convict police officers of misconduct in the line of duty”? (The police officer has admitted she lied while testifying in a court hearing.) Steve Bogira

• FiveThirtyEight’s analysis of the “few bad apples” theory of police violence using the Invisible Institute’s Citizens Police Data Project database of Chicago Police Department misconduct complaint records? John Dunlevy

• How presidential candidate Lindsey Graham thinks Princess Buttercup from the 1987 fantasy movie The Princess Bride would oppose Ted Cruz’s foreign policy? Ryan Smith

• Or hear these recordings of Christmas carols performed by goats? Aimee Levitt

• About the rape victim who was coerced into recanting—and whose rapist went on to attack more women? Aimee Levitt

•’s best of 2015? Tal Rosenberg

• About the painting stolen from the Empty Bottle over the weekend? —Leor Galil