Reader staffers share stories that fascinate, amuse, or inspire us.

Hey, did you read:

• That the government is saving old nuclear warheads to protect the earth from asteroids? Mike Sula

• Jelani Cobb on President Obama’s safety? (“What signal does Secret Service ineptitude send to foreign adversaries?”) Steve Bogira

• That Jon Burge, the Chicago police commander responsible for the torture of scores of men, gets out of prison today, after serving fewer than four years? Tony Adler

• About the new Republican ad campaign aimed at young women that compares voting to picking out a wedding dress? (In Illinois, the ads will show a young woman opting for the “Bruce Rauner”.) Steve Bogira

• That most drinking in the United States is done by just 10 percent of the population? Mick Dumke

• That someone broke into a Fresno chicken shed and killed 920 birds with a golf club? Mike Sula

• About the report on potential safety plans for SXSW? Leor Galil

• This breakdown of costs and earnings for a professional stage actor? Tony Adler

• That Martha Lavey is stepping down as artistic director of Steppenwolf Theatre Company, to be replaced by Anna D. Shapiro? Tony Adler

• The Playboy interview with director David Fincher? Tal Rosenberg

• That spots in line for Hot Doug’s final day are going for up to $300? Brianna Wellen

• How the Angels ought to hose the speedy Royals tonight? Steve Bogira

• About what Paula Deen‘s been up to since she got fired by the Food Network? (Don’t worry, she’s doing fine.) Aimee Levitt

• This one-on-one with Kanye West’s White Jesus? Drew Hunt