Editor’s note: Craig Champlin submitted a number of shorts for our annual Pure Fiction issue, writing “Pick any of them. What I’d really like is to run ‘The Ernie Bedlam Stories’ weekly. I have a lot of them and people seem to really like them.” We’ll run five of the Ernie stories here on the Bleader this week. Here’s the third.
Ernie always told the truth unless he didn’t. His son Toyboy certainly knew he would go blind if he kept playing Scratch and Sniff Lotto tickets. Ernie’s entire family knew the tickets must be administrated properly if one ever expected to win. You never scratch them off in the store. That task must be done at home with soft music playing. You never win listening to AC/DC playing in the background. God doesn’t like AC/DC.