On November 27, the Independent Film Channel premieres Goth Cruise, a “gothumentary” by Jeannie Finlay that follows 150 British and American goth lifers, intermingled with “normals,” on a Caribbean cruise. Pity it’s a stand-alone movie and not a series pilot, because this could be the best reality-show premise since Discovery Channel’s Everest: Beyond the Limit (which could also have been called Idiots at 27,000 Feet or Altitude Sickness Is No Excuse).

There are certain obvious questions I hope will be addressed in the film: Is potentially fatal sunburn to this flick what frostbite was to Everest? Can you catch nasty gastrointestinal diseases from drinking the blood of someone suffering the cruise-ship trots? But even if none of them get answered, it’ll be worth watching just for this, from the press materials: “[Steven] Severin [of Siouxsie & the Banshees] composed a calypso version of ‘Spellbound’ entitled ‘Steelbound’ for the soundtrack of GOTH CRUISE.”

Almost makes me want to invest in SPF 20,000 sunscreen (scented with vetiver and absinthe, of course) and take the cruise myself. Almost.