“For much of her youth, Sitatian Kaelo lived in a mud hut in Kenya with no windows, no electricity and baby goats underfoot.”


“Kaelo might have suffered the fate of so many young Kenyan girls — becoming a preteen bride and then being given away in exchange for a few cows, goats and sheep.

“Instead, she graduated with honors Thursday, delivered the commencement address to the Class of 2008 and is set to study medicine at Rush University Medical Center this fall.”

It’s the American dream: next, she’ll have a kid, and that kid will grow up to be accused of being a privileged yuppie elitist foreign Muslim/Muslim apostate.

Of course, it wasn’t always so: “I for one connected with what they were saying. Then again, I myself am from humble origins. My father was a poor Virginia turd miner.” The best Daily Show clip ever. That or any Even Stevphen or Produce Pete.