I fully agree with John Darnielle: motherfuck KFC and their stupid-ass jokey “black metal” commercial. Aside from the sub-half-ass music and makeup jobs and the fact that this is–as Darnielle points out–yet another example of a shitty corporation jacking a subculture for lulz, the wrongest thing about the ad is its assumption that black-metal dudes eat food. They survive on booze and hate and occasionally bits of each other’s brains, not on crispy chicken whatevers.

Usually when I get pissed off I like to turn on metal really loud, but I just put on some Mayhem and it’s only reminding me of that commercial, which just pisses me off worse. It’s like a vicious circle of hate and Mayhem and it’s really . . . well actually it’s kind of weirdly perfect.