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We here at the Reader love a good yarn about failed romance, mostly because it makes us feel better about the chilly, lonesome nights we spend sobbing into our pillows. For our Valentine’s Day issue (2/8), we’re asking for your least romantic stories, be it from a single nightmarish date or a long-doomed relationship. Make them clever, funny, and probably pretty bleak. And don’t assume you have to be the recipient of the romantic blunder—we all make mistakes.

Send your submissions to vday@chicagoreader.com by midnight on Sun 1/27.