Watch out, fashion victims—your Spanish moss-like Amish shag might cause travel delays. Metal Hammer reports that Metallica front man James Hetfield was briefly detained by UK officials coming into London for the band’s Live Earth appearance. Apparently his “Taliban-like” beard was a profiling factor. (If you want a more in-depth study of this riveting topic, I can’t recommend The James Hetfield Hair Watch site enough.)

There’s no way Hetfield would have embraced hardline radical Islam without a press conference, concept album, and documentary celebrating his conversion. I also doubt he was concealing anything in there more dangerous than bits of last night’s pizza. Still, this has disturbing implications. First they came for our hair gel, then they came for our face foliage . . . what’s next?

No, it’s not April Fool’s Day. It’s July 6, which also happens to be my birthday. Thank you, UK airport fashion police, for this present.