At the risk of reinforcing every stereotype about petty, mean-spirited music critics, I have to say that this is probably the funniest thing I’ll see all day.

And really, I’m not making fun of Steven Tyler’s injuries as a music critic. I’m making fun of them as a person who thinks Steven Tyler is extremely nasty. Remember the part in the Making of Pump video where he talks about how he’s sexually attracted to his daughter? Yikes.