• courtesy of Beifoosa700, Wikimedia Commons
  • Sorry, you can’t use an Ikea pencil to take this quiz.

I don’t usually indulge in online quizzes, but when the words “Ikea or Death” popped up in my Twitter feed earlier today, I had to investigate. The folks behind Pittsburgh marketing firm Gatesman & Dave came up with the quiz, which presents a selection of words that could conceivably be for a piece of Ikea furniture or a black-metal band. Granted, Ikea is a Swedish company and the band names skew toward metal acts of the Norwegian persuasion, so even on the surface the comparison is imperfect, but it’s a fun game nonetheless. Plus it appears that the time I used a blocky Lack side table as a desk and the many hours I’ve spent scanning Encyclopaedia Metallum and Discogs in search of obscure black-metal acts have finally paid off—the quiz has been spreading around the office today, and so far none of my colleagues have bested my score. Take the quiz and try to beat my score of 16 points before I hit up Gatesman & Dave for some sort of trophy, preferably one that looks like deceased Mayhem front man Per Yngve Ohlin (aka “Dead”) making an Ikea futon.