“Some of our colleagues are impervious to all of this. They reason as follows: I already have a cell phone. I already have a BlackBerry. I already have an iPod. Why do I need an iPhone? We pity these poor, lost souls. Life without a periodic and unslakeable desire for the next cool gizmo is a frightening void, in our opinion.

“These clueless sorts are likely to witness a high-definition television, its screen blazing with impossibly sharp colors, and shrug. It’s just a TV, right? Sure, and Michael Jordan was just a basketball player.”

I’m a Web editor, and you don’t get to that point with an aversion to the Next Big Thing. But I’m not going to pretend that it’s not a bad habit, and arguably something to feel a healthy shame about, technolust being the most unnatural form of lust and probably the most useless (real lust makes babies, while technolust makes landfills). You’d hope that same sense of shame would prevent writers from going all sweaty-palmed about some gadget under the guise of journalism. But:

“We’ve been transfixed by the new iPhone commercials, drooling like Homer Simpson in full doughnut lust.”

Marketing execs would blush to say such a thing. And just when I thought the Tribune had a healthy skepticism towards cell phones. Pity.