Not to be all get-off-my-lawn, there-are-too-many-states-nowadays, but dudes used to be better at feuding, and you can buy the evidence from Bun E. Carlos’s mom. And proceeds go to her family, church, and the Salvation Army. I am not making this up. Every bit of it is hilarious, but the Chairman cc’ing Marshall Field IV on his beef with Mike Royko is a kind of Establishment Crazy we’re never getting back. I blame the Internet.