Who could have blamed him for taking out the candy basket?

Actually, I’m referring to what Lou Piniella called “the bubble gum thing,” the dugout receptacle that holds the chewing gum and sunflower seeds so essential to the Norman Rockwell game that is Major League Baseball. Carlos Zambrano, frustrated by a so-so pitching performance that ended in a 5-3 loss to the Phillies last Friday, had thrown one of his fits and, again to quote Uncle Lou, “flipped [the basket] over a little bit.” 

Well, sometimes a guy needs to vent a little–Lou can relate. For his part, he told the Trib‘s Paul Sullivan, he was “a water cooler guy. I enjoyed [smashing] the water cooler more than the gum basket. I wasn’t messy.”


Lou lamented that these days “there are no more water coolers. Now you have to tussle with the Gatorade.”

Sullivan elicited from Piniella that, after being forced to cough up $200 to $300 for each smashed water cooler back in the day, he’d taken them home and kept them for a while in his garage–after all, he’d paid for them.

“‘I wish I had kept them,’ he said. ‘I’d be selling them on eBay.'”

Ozzie Guillen better start reading his Bible. He’s in danger of losing his title as Chicago baseball’s King of Quotes.