Eric Zorn, who has been doggedly following the chaos at Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism, reports that the school is considering a name change. Some of the options are perplexing:

“The Medill School of Audience and Consumer Information”

“The Medill School of Journalism, Media and Integrated Marketing Communications”

[Just take a moment here to consider these leaden names are intended to sell the school’s emphasis on communications.]

My favorite: “The Medill School of Information and Influence.” Better, right? It’s punchy, flexible, and kind of intimidating. It’s almost perfect–almost. Let’s see if I have any future in Integrated Marketing Communications:

Classy, but dated. That won’t do for Medill 2020. They need something that says now. Something bureaucratic, yet strong.

Perfect! Now that is cutting-edge. Sirs, I wish to apply; my 27B-Stroke-6 will be in the mail shortly.