Integrated Marketing Communications by any other name would smell as sweet

Eric Zorn, who has been doggedly following the chaos at Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism, reports that the school is considering a name change. Some of the options are perplexing:

“The Medill School of Audience and Consumer Information”

“The Medill School of Journalism, Media and Integrated Marketing Communications”

[Just take a moment here to consider these leaden names are intended to sell the school’s emphasis on communications.]

My favorite: “The Medill School of Information and Influence.” Better, right? It’s punchy, flexible, and kind of intimidating. It’s almost perfect–almost. Let’s see if I have any future in Integrated Marketing Communications:

Classy, but dated. That won’t do for Medill 2020. They need something that says now. Something bureaucratic, yet strong.

Perfect! Now that is cutting-edge. Sirs, I wish to apply; my 27B-Stroke-6 will be in the mail shortly.