• Dave Maass

While everyone’s bored out of their gourd with Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney, I’m trying to keep track of my favorite Republican presidential candidate, Newt Gingrich, who is still running for president despite being nearly invisible in the media. And, also, liked by no one. Wondering what Gingrich is up to lately? I made a list! Don’t worry, it’s short. Recently Newt Gingrich has:

– gotten a flat tire in West Hollywood

– gotten (maybe) another metric fuckton of money from crazy billionaire Sheldon Adelson, who seems even more confused about Gingrich’s chances than Gingrich (or, alternately, crazy like a fox)

– been characterized by one letter writer as “shifting gears just like a defiant trucker charging down a steep grade with the smell of burning rubber in his nostrils