Chances are you’ve already read five to several recaps of last night’s Mad Men season premiere, scene-by-scene deconstructionist analyses that we can imagine simultaneously make Matthew Weiner die a little inside and nudge him toward self-satisfied sexual climax. That’s not my bag. Like the Zippo said, see. Here’s a not-at-all comprehensive smattering (so a smattery smattering) of observations, questions, and general concerns:

Don. Hey.

Don is so good at the silent treatment, even when he’s inflicting it on the audience. How long did it take for him to speak? Is he mad at himself or is he mad at everyone for talking about his dick?

Hey. Remember when Abe was a dynamic, complete person? I hate the suggestion that being in a relationship with a Type-A career woman has turned him into a schlub (confusing, because he also demonstrates that women CAN have it all: job, doting partner, doting partner’s mustache) but does he do anything besides shit, eat, make sure Peggy eats, and

Welcome back, friends.