Don’t skim this Phoenix New Times interview with Ted Nugent like it’s just another Friday-afternoon Internet time waster. Savor it. That’s some delicious crazy, isn’t it? Are you picking up on the notes of bazonkers and unhingedness? The bouquet, redolent of not even having a damn clue? The finish has a note of seriously can we all just stop paying attention to him that’s almost overwhelmingly strong, but it evens out beautifully into a bit of God what a pathetic asshole.

TN: I almost come off like Rodney King sometimes, except that I actually form syllables–you’ve gotta love that.

I think Ted might need help understanding what the words “gotta” and “love” mean to the billions of people who aren’t maniacally self-obsessed shitbags. He should collaborate with this guy. They can compare delusions.

I actually grew up one town over from the Nuge’s place outside Jackson, Michigan, and on many occasions I got to see him act like a complete dick in person. Also his kid was a straight-up Tommy Hilfiger prep jock, which I enjoyed not only for the irony but also because it seemed like something that would eat Ted up inside. Fuck that guy.