• Thomas Haugen
  • It’s coming from underground

A series of “mysterious underground booms” has startled residents of the small Wisconsin town of Clintonville a few times this week—once on Sunday, once on Monday, and once again early this morning. There is no explanation; the AP reports that, to no avail, “city officials have checked and rechecked methane levels at the local landfill, monitored water, sewer and gas lines, contacted the military about any exercises in the area, reviewed mining explosive permits and inspected the Pigeon River dam next to city hall.” But what about the surrounding areas? Clintonville’s not far from Manitowoc, where my parents live. There’s plenty of potential for disaster there: two nuclear power plants in the vicinity, some local factory that smells like processed meat all the time (like the Blommer smell, only repulsive), and a Budweiser plant. Clintonville’s also near the site of the only verified Virgin Mary apparition in the U.S., so you can’t rule out the end-of-days angle. Or, for that matter, the paranormal angle—has anybody contacted J.J. Abrams about this?