This just in . . .

Not only are we not Detroit, we’re now the new Nashville!

Yes, that’s right, Chicago’s emerged as the political capital of America. It wasn’t easy. We had to overcome Nashville and Little Rock. But, darn it, we did it!

And we owe it all to Mayor Daley because — everyone together now — our mayor is responsible for all that is good in the universe. Even Barack Obama.

So one more time: Thank You, Mayor Daley. Thank you, thank you, thank you.