Predictably enough, the Reader has a Valentine’s Day issue hitting the streets on February 9, five days before the Hallmark holiday. We’ll attempt to foil that predictability with a heavy dose of disenchantment and copious eye-rolling. Why even bother with love—am I right?
For a taste of the impending Valentine’s snark, check out the nugget of gold that the good people at Found Magazine allowed us to swipe from their archives. It’s a high schooler’s view of what makes the perfect girl—and, yes, it’s pretty bleak. You’ll find it in all its glory after the jump: