I never quite understood how people could fall in love with objects–like really fall in love in a fully serious and mature way with inanimate things–until I discovered the Allen & Heath Xone:V6 club mixer. I want to . . . I think I want to marry that thing. The rotary controls, the tube preamps, the plethora of meters, the blue LED cue lights–they’re doing something weird to me that no mixer has ever done to me before.

I’m just not sure that it wants me back. The V6 has been around for five years or so, but still sells for almost five grand. “Xone:V6 is an echo of the earliest days of pro audio, when idealistic individuals created outstanding products free from cost or time constraints. Such creations were never cheap,” says the copy on the Allen & Heath site (emphasis mine), which makes me think the V6 is way out of my league.