“As time goes on, he will reflect and see the proper course to follow.”

— Pat Quinn on Scott Lee Cohen

I wouldn’t take that to the pawn shop. Cohen has dispatched his ex-wife to speak to the press (click for the most excruciating body language you’ll ever see) and has asked his ex-girlfriend – the “massage parlor” employee – to do so as well. Hell, he was shopping his problems to the press before the election. Eric Zorn suggests a “go away” payment, but given the money he spent for a sinecure that sounds like a longshot.

On Chicago Tonight (via Capitol Fax comments), Cohen claims he would consider stepping down if he thinks he’d sink the ticket, which is at least a foot in the door, and even if it doesn’t make sense it makes as much sense as any other motivation Cohen has. Given that the other options seem sort of hopeless – money and dignity don’t seem to be an issue for SLC at this point – the Democrats’ best bet might be to just keep pounding on him.

Of all the dirt flying about Cohen, I find this the creepiest, since it comes straight from the horse’s mouth, or at least the horse’s petition to visit his children: “Although from time to time I have screamed and yelled at my children, that is my parenting style and my prerogative.”

Update: The actual possible bright side to this is that it could be the sort of waking-up-covered-in-vomit-in-a-gutter (with vague memories of a “masseuse”) moment the state really needs to get its shit together – the real clarifying bottom that comes after the habitual problem behavior and the overdrawn bank account. Or it could be a sideshow to distract us from the actual terrifying problems that await the Quinn-[REDACTED] ticket or TBD-R. I don’t know if I want to know right now.

Update II: Or, if the Democrats screw this up further… Rich Whitney? Stranger elections have, um, happened.