At the 7-Eleven at the corner of Franklin and Lake:
Me: This is a thing?
The lady behind the counter at 7-Eleven: They’re actually pretty good. I mean, I liked them.
Me: OK, I’ll bite.
(What I should have asked: Are they caffeinated?)
Back at Reader world headquarters:
Me: [sniff] [odd smell that’s sort of like cinnamon, except with weird chemical topnotes]
Me (hopefully, straining for enticingly, to nearest coworker): Want to try a cappuccino-flavored Lay?
Nearest coworker: [shudders]
Me: [crunch] [taste of something like potato chip, but sweet, not salty, and, therefore, unnatural]: Ugh.
Nearest coworker: [a look that says, “What did I tell you?”]
E-mail to coworkers:
Subject: cappuccino-flavored Lays, Message: If you’re brave enough.
Within minutes, coworkers gather, as they always do when there is food in the office.
First coworker: I don’t even like the smell. [tentative crunch] . . . uh
Second coworker: [tentative crunch] . . . uh . . . yeah
First coworker: It tastes kind of like chocolate?
Second coworker: It tastes like someone spilled coffee on a potato chip.
Me: Except not soggy.
Third coworker: Good point. [crunch] These suck.
Fourth coworker: I want to try. Bring them over. [crunch] I don’t know, they’re not so bad.
Second coworker [reading package]: They have . . . brown sugar?
First coworker: I can’t get the taste out of my mouth.
Fifth coworker: [crunch] Interesting! If I didn’t know what they were, I couldn’t even begin to tell you what they tasted like.
Sixth coworker: Oh, all right, I’ll try them. [crunch] [retreats to office and glass of water]
- Aimee Levitt
Fifth coworker: How about some chocolate-covered scorpions?
Third coworker: Can you get those at 7-Eleven?
Fifth coworker: Maybe in Khorat or Udon Thani!
Fourth coworker: Yo, I still kind of like them.
Seventh coworker: These taste like garbage! But garbage someone poured coffee on. [Goes back for seconds.]
Eighth coworker: These taste and smell like a gas station.
When the dust clears, approximately three-quarters of a bag remains.