vampire repellent

You’re feeling that faint scratch in the back of your throat. Your nasal passages are beginning to close. A dull ache tightens its grip on your joints.

The prescription: a squirt of echinacea, 500 mg vitamin C, 50 mg zinc, one raw garlic clove, all washed down with a shot of Wild Turkey. Or two. You’ll be fine.

Unless that is, you refuse to ingest the garlic, because, I don’t know, you’d rather wallow in your own phlegm for weeks than smell like a salami for a day?