A recent, very Boston-centric article floats the idea that being a fan of a winning team can lead to not just personal euphoria but greater confidence, productivity, and even (in the case of its being a winning NFL team) greater collective wealth. Especially after yesterday–when the Sox lost two of two and Paul Konerko* and the Cubs lived down to the 39th anniversary of the black cat curse–I’d be more interested in research into the psychology of fans who root who root for hard-luck teams. (We’re certainly not happy, but do we lose money?) Instead, I diverted myself for a bit with a teaser sent out by the Sporting News, whose new issue, out tomorrow, features an interview with Ozzie Guillen. Maybe–unless you’re Jay Mariotti–it’ll take your mind off things too.

On sensitivity training: “When [Major League Baseball] sent me to the crazy guy–­what is that? [Sensitivity training, as ordered by MLB following the incident with Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti.] This guy told me I was crazy, I need anger management. Shut the [expletive] up. You don’t know, you don’t know my life. You went to [expletive] Harvard, and you’re gonna spend time talking to Ozzie Guillen, who got eighth grade? You should feel embarrassed. You know what? How many employees you got in your office? Let’s trade [expletive] jobs for a week to see who handle it better. . . . Just because I called one guy that?” 

On White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf: “You say something negative about Jerry Reinsdorf around me, be ready to fight. Aw, yeah, be ready to fistfight because I will kick your [expletive] [expletive] if you talk about that man when you don’t know him.”

On steroids: “My wife say every year, ‘Look at those players, they take care of themselves better than you do. Every year, they get bigger and stronger. You out of shape through spring training.’ She say, ‘Why you don’t take care of yourself like they do? They no drink, they no do anything.’ Now, I get the last laugh. I’m normal, I’m healthy, I’m happy. I no have to deal with that [expletive]. I no have to answer anybody’s questions. . . . I tell my players, ‘You get caught with that [expletive], don’t tell me. I’m not gonna [expletive] protect you, I’m gonna throw you under the train.'”

On the top three players in Chicago: “Derrek Lee is the most complete player Chicago has. He’s the best player in Chicago. The most under-the-radar player Chicago has is [Jermaine] Dye. Dye has been the best outfielder for the last five years, won the MVP in the World Series, had more consistent years than anybody in the league–­and nobody give this kid any attention? That’s the second-best player in Chicago. And Carlos Quentin [is third].”

On media treatment toward the Cubs: “If [Carlos] Quentin was playing for the Cubs, he’d already be MVP. If [Alexei] Ramirez was with the Cubs, he would be National League rookie of the year. They talk about [Cubs rookie Kosuke] Fukudome more than they talk about Ramirez.”

Ozzie on the best manager in Chicago: “Me. Because our division is hard. . . . Maybe all the people in the National League will be all mad, but I will trade [for a] National League Central [schedule] in a heartbeat. I will take that with my eyes closed.”

Well, clearly, the interview, conducted by Steve Greenberg, took place a while ago: Carlos Quentin is now out for at least the season, Alexei Ramirez was just named the AL rookie of the month, and Fukudome’s playing part-time. But, Sox fan that I am, I have to take issue with Ozzie on one point: Lou Piniella‘s the best manager in this town [spoof by ESPN’s Mike & Mike].

*Looks like Konerko’s injury is just a sprain–they’re saying he may be back as early as Friday.