In case you were looking to gain weight and for a coronary, Risque Cafe announces that with the change of seasons it’s introducing “Bacon in Everything, Fried Foods, and other ways to insulate yourself.” The new appetizer it’s touting, on offer for $6 beginning today, is the house-smoked bacon, “double-dipped in chicken batter, then deep-fried and served with a side of white bacon gravy. Who can say no to true love?” Or you could try the Smokehouse Bloody Mary, made with a base of in-house smoked tomatoes and vodka infused with bacon, maple syrup, and black peppercorns ($6 on Sundays, $7 other days).

But that’s no way to become a pinup girl. I’d advise sticking to Juicy Jay’s Sizzling Bacon, a flavored rolling paper that should kill all appetite as well as being a stop-smoking resource. (h/t Whet)