“And if you don’t have kids, start having as much unprotected sex as possible. Save the money you don’t have on birth control and condoms.”

That’s just one of the many helpful tips dispensed in Steve Delahoyde and Schadenfreude’s Surviving the New Depression series, screening in Wits’ End Shorts’ annual Chicago Short Comedy Video & Film Festival, Friday at 7 and 9 PM at the Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington.

Tonight is Wits’ End’s Chicago Comedy TV Pilot Competition, also 7 and 9 PM at the Cultural Center. Tickets to each show are $10.