So there’s this new book coming out on May 1 from Touchstone titled The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said. It’s edited by Robert Byrne, who also edited The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, so I guess he knows what he’s talking about. (I don’t have a copy of Best Things on hand, but surely there must be some crossover?)
Just leafing through the book, I think wittiest may be an overstatement. It could easily be cut down to 1,274.
But here’s a semirandom sampling:
Eggheads! What do they know? —Homer Simpson
A penny urned is a penny saved. —Jerome Mannheim