- Bruce isn’t gonna like this tune.
If, by chance, the voters of Illinois, in their infinite wisdom, elect Bruce Rauner as our next governor, Matt Farmer’s gonna be in a heap of trouble!
I mean, Rauner blew his stack when former Sun-Times reporter Dave McKinney cowrote a mildly critical article about something someone said about him many years ago.
But give this guy the full power of the state and let him listen to “Plutocrat (The Ballad of Bruce Rauner),” Matt’s latest video?
Hey, Matt—have you considered the witness protection program?
OK look, Mr. Rauner, please allow me to make an appeal on Matt’s behalf.
He’s a nice guy. A lawyer by day. On nights and weekends, he frequently plays guitar and sings old rock, blues, or country songs at bars around town.
He’s made a bunch of satiric country-western videos, including one about Blago. You’d like that—right?
So the one he wrote about you has a verse that goes . . .
“And I do my best to avoid the stage
If they want me to talk about the minimum wage
‘Cause I’d rather have those people work for free.”
But it’s parody. He’s just pretending to be you.
It’s true—there’s another verse that goes . . .
“Now I know it’s become the latest craze
But I try not to talk about marryin’ gays
Social issues bring my numbers down.”
In Matt’s defense, he says he was inspired to write “Plutocrat (The Ballad of Bruce Rauner)” in a burst of outrage after watching that pathetic performance by the Bears in Sunday’s game against Miami.
So blame it on Jay Cutler. Hell, these days everybody blames him for everything else around here.
There’s that verse that goes . . .
“I’ll hammer and shake that capitol dome
Like it’s a grandma stuck in a nursing home
Hey, grandma, it’s time to say goodbye.”
Dang, man—that’s cold. Even I wouldn’t say anything like that.
Well, Matt, I tried. If you wake up one day and discover you own a bankrupt nursing home company you never heard of, you’ll know why.
Enjoy the song, everybody . . .