Unlike millions and millions of adherents around the world, I didn’t grow up drinking Yakult, the treacly 77-year-old Japanese probiotic yogurt water that is slowly sweeping across the planet. So when one of the squat 80-milliliter bottles of the stuff is placed in front of me after I eat sushi or Korean food it summons up unpleasant memories of children’s cold medicine rather than some happy childhood treat. It tastes like liquid SweeTart, slightly tangy, overwhelmingly cloying, and imperceptively gritty in a way that will easily distract you from whatever you ate as the main event.