It’s going to be hard for Phoenix Books find a title for Blagojevich’s book, given that his estimable publisher has already used The Price, The Kingmakers, Catastrophe, Kiss and Tell, Just Desserts, Busted!, and What Where You Thinking???. If they want to trade off the success one of their recent hits, they could go with Burning Down My House Leader’s House: A Personal Descent into Madness that Shook the State of Illinois. I have previously claimed rights on The Loneliness of the Long Distance Governor.

I would only ask that Phoenix Books not provide him with a copy of Talk Like Jesus: Change Your Life with the S.I.M.P.L.E. Steps of the Master Communicator: “With careful analysis, historical reference, humorous storytelling and even sci-fi analogies, this book challenges the reader with new communication paradigms and practical suggestions. Whether you’re a high-profile CEO, salesperson, manager, teacher, parent or pastor, these time-tested methods will inspire you to improve your professional and personal communication skills by learning how to Talk Like Jesus.”

The poetry’s absurd enough, we don’t need any parables from the man.