He’s undergone an appendectomy, had to leave town for a family funeral last week, and struck out with the bases loaded in the first inning of Tuesday’s game against the Indians, to the by-now standard chorus of boos. The Onion reports that Major League Baseball has declared him no longer a “baseball player” but a “baseball participant.” On the positive side, he’s shown no sign of being the head case the north side has been afflicted with. But you’ve gotta think that Adam Dunn is feeling some existential dread—particularly at the thought of the three years and five and a half weeks remaining on his $56 million contract.