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One movie you definitely won’t catch me seeing this holiday weekend is the Red Dawn remake, which the Reader‘s Drew Hunt notes “merge[s] action movie heroics with ass-backwards politics, blunting the genre pleasures that made the original so delightfully kitsch.” In short, America is invaded by North Korea (originally China, before the producers snapped back to reality and changed some insignias in postproduction) and a handful of smokin’ hot Spokane, Washington, teenagers take to the hills to form a resistance that might one day drive out their new overlords.

The movie, out today, is “very intense, very much keeping in mind the post-9/11 world that we’re in,” according to one of Red Dawn‘s screenwriters. Per Deadspin’s head-shaking review, they don’t do such a great job with that: “With its Dawson’s Creek-worthy romantic travails and brooding/whiny characters, this Red Dawn insists that the youth of America are just one badass training montage away from becoming boss guerrilla warriors.” Which brings me to my point.