A “key Democratic source” [ed. note: ?] says Cohen wants to drop out, which is news to Cohen’s spokesman; Dick Durbin says he won’t be lite guv and “I’m just saying we have found ways legally to give voters an alternative” [ed note: ?]; and “if reporters wanted to speak directly to Cohen, the candidate would be at the Vertigo nightclub at the top of the Dana Hotel and Spa in downtown Chicago Friday night” [ed note: of course].

Update: Of course pt. 2.