The Generalissimo Francisco Franco Is Still Dead Award for Morbid Not-News Coverage goes to Jeff Zeleny of the New York Times for “In Painful Past, Hushed Worry About Obama.” The ethereal headline, a Times staple, does its darndest to make the article seem Very Important, but a more accurate (and less nonsensical) headline might read: “Will Obama, Like Two 20th-Century Public Figures With Whom He Has Been Compared, Also Get Shot?” Seriously: “Yet worry they do, with the spring of 1968 seared into their memories, when the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Senator Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated in a span of two months.”

Other eerie coincidences: Obama, like Abraham Lincoln, is an Illinois lawyer and senator. Obama grew up in Hawaii, William McKinley annexed Hawaii. Like James Garfield, Obama juggles Indian clubs to build his muscles.* Unfortunately, unlike Zeleny, I haven’t gotten around to calling Gary Hart yet, because. . . actually, I’m not sure what Gary Hart has to do with the story. Still: kind of eerie. We’ve come along way since discovering that Lincoln was shot in Ford Theater, and Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln, made by Ford.

*Actually, he plays basketball.