This is how Michigan State fans say Were number one! when playing Michigan
  • This is how Michigan State fans say “We’re number one!” when playing Michigan

For Michigan State fans, it’s the one must-win game of the season, simply because the world is a better place when smug jagoffs get theirs.

Among Michigan people, it’s a matchup that’s annoying to even think about losing, since more important business lies ahead, like the Ohio State Buckeyes.

That’s the essence of the Michigan-Michigan State rivalry, whose latest manifestation is Saturday at the Big House. It’s all good, clean fun—except that, not so secretly, both sides find the other guys so pathetically obnoxious that the only thing that might set them straight is a good solid ass-whooping.

“He would rather see Michigan lose than Michigan State win,” a lifelong Wolverine recently complained of a Spartan “friend,” aghast at such an intellectual and ethical flaw.

“I know a couple Michigan grads who aren’t douches,” offered a Michigan State person I know well, on a day she felt particularly generous.